Fear:The Abstract Noun

“Fear in inevitable,I have to accept that I cannot allow it to paralyze me” By :Isabel Allende

What is fear? Fear is an emotion ,one that is caused by the belief that something is dangerous, likely to cause pain,or is a threat.We fear the unknown,what is different, or just something that takes us out of our own comfort zone.There are times when we anticipate a probable bad outcome even before we have a chance to encounter the experience:that is fear at work and doing at little overtime.

If we live in fear, we limit ourselves and our experiences in life, and the majority of us only get one chance at it.Now there are some chosen few who are like cats, and may be working on their sixth of their nine lives,lol.

You can’t stop fear from being an emotion that you may have, and I’m not saying to not be cautious in some of your choices as well.But do not allow fear to inhibit you from trying new things.We tend to fear the unknown, I get that, it’s part of our human nature.Once you encounter an experience it goes from being unknown to the “been there done that have a shirt to prove it”memory repertoire.After the experience, you can make the judgement call if you will do whatever it is again, but with validity because you have tried it at least once.

In our later years it’s our experiences that make for the best memories, that give us the best  colorful stories to share, and the most vivid images in our mental scrapbook.Don’t let not overcoming a few fears steal this away from you.


The Refuge,and The Solace

I feel safe tonight as the words and thoughts comfort me.
Even if just for a moment.
The false sense of security that’s hiding behind media images and autocorrect.
This is what’s  keeping me unemotional and focused to the task at hand.
Impartial and ambiguous.
I am not the strongest person,but i shall hold the weight on my shoulder,and try my best not to fall down.
If i ramble like an intoxicated fool,it’s ok.
No liquor was abused or harmed in making this piece.
Drunk from reality,and it’s giving me quite the hangover.
I am ready to deal with it all.
Even if i’m not ready,i will still deal with it.
Bring on the Tylenlol,it’s going to be long night
And day
And night.


Be proud of yourself

We must learn to see and acknowledge our strengths as well as our shortcomings.This blog is a perfect example of a good daily routine

Shelly Ray

For the past few weeks I have been feeling a little down. Some might say I’ve been in a rut. This is due to not being completely happy with certain things in my life, putting a lot of pressure on myself to change them, and also just general feelings of sadness and annoyance that don’t seem to stem from any one thing in particular.

While working out today I had an epiphany of sorts, and I thought I would share it in case any of you are struggling with some of the feelings of doubt and unhappiness that I have been experiencing. My epiphany was that I do not do a good enough job of patting myself on the back for all of the things I am doing right. Instead, I focus on the negatives or what I think I could be doing better. This causes a lot of unnecessary stress and…

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Until We Meet Again

“As we grew up, my brothers acted like they didn’t care,but I always knew they looked out for me and were there!”-from author Catherine Pulsifer

Even when i was a young girl, I never liked saying the ever so formal and seems so final word goodbye.Yes it may sound a little melodramatic, but it is true. I found it more reassuring (mainly for myself),if i said “see you later” ,it gave more hope and promise that we would see each other again.I still feel this way as an adult .

Well two short days ago, i had to say this to my older brother,who left this earthly world very unexpectedly.I had no clue, along with family that he would be leaving us so soon.He was a very strong and domineering man, in the very likeness of our father(who passed only two short years ago ).They both were the type of men that if they had to deal with a problem or issue(health,financial,or emotional) they would handle it themselves because that is what  men do and they won’t have to get the family worried and upset about whatever is going on. Lord only knows their hearts were in the right place, but their pride just got in the way of letting family be there for them as moral support.

Both of these men will forever hold a very special place in my heart, and each in a different chamber of my heart.But until we meet again  guys……know that I’ll see you later.

Small(and little) Victories

Today my husband and I had dinner for two at the Olive Garden for $4.95.

Let me share how:when we got married 3 years ago,family and friends chose practical gifts we could use(instead of that toaster) they gave us personal checks and gift cards as well.Now the checks we deposited immediately,but we held on to some lovely gift cards,and today we drew this one out of the hat.We also took full advantage of the establishments ‘ buy one,take one’ deal along with our gift card .

Saving some money and having a dinner date…..a small little victory for us,but even the small things matter.


A Higher Power

“Just because what is going on in your life right now doesn’t feel good,doesn’t mean God is not working” by Joyce Meyer

cloud-raysThe day after Easter, many of you may have had time to share with family yesterday,go worship together,share a meal,and a few laughs as well. I decided i would be in that vast majority,and by that i mean some of the congregation that you see at church on Easter.One of the so called” obligatory” holidays that non-practicing ,but still religious people do,to still feel like “If i attend on these important days God will give me a pass on the others”. However from attendance standards anywhere, whether work or school, it matters how many times you are absent as so much the times you did happen to make it.You could do your best work when you are there,but the key word is WHEN.
I was baptized a Catholic,and even spent many years in the parochial school system,only to be lead away from this religious life as I became an adult.Now i never stopped believing in God and the beliefs i was taught,i just had an ever so busy life that i decided could not include worshiping on a regular basis ,which is the farthest thing from the truth.
When i attend church i go to my “home”church ,so it’s the church where i had been baptized and the parish where i attended school.So it’s familiar territory, where many of my friends and neighbors attend as well. Well ,let me just say that the sermon and soul stirring singing today,definitely called me back to my faith and made me see why in the face on any and all adversity in your life you need Him.”Even when you think you are finished, HE is not done with you yet”,this  was the resounding message from the priest as he read the homily  ,and the lyrics that were emphatically  and emotionally sung by the choir as communion was received .Today, for me ,was a chance to start over,as with everyday you are granted on this earth.To walk in my path not just with the people I have chosen to walk with me,but to walk with the Lord closer on this path to see what he truly has in store for me.We ( and when I say that i include myself) tend to think of God as if  he were a book, when things are going well or if we are busy, we may not get a chance to read our book,  we put it down with good intentions of getting right back to it, or just read it if we have a dilemma and need to find out that answer or get that solution to a problem.When in reality he should be the number one best selling, most read , highly acclaimed book that we just can’t tear yourselves away from.

Save that money

“When you have money, think of the time you had none” Japanese Proverb

In this day and age ,everybody no matter what walk of life you may be from, is trying to save money.We all love a good sale, finding that great deal that was almost a steal.When we do find that deal, and it just so happens to be exactly what we looking for , we leave that store victorious like we left the arena and won the event for our respective districts(my Hunger Games fans will definitely get a chuckle here).

Now don’t get caught up in the foolery of buying more (especially if you have no need for it)just because of the sale price, because then you are still spending  unnecessary money instead of saving money. Now if it is an item that you do use,and have a sizable family, there are advantages to buying items in bulk, and why places like Costos and BJ Wholesalers fair rather well.

With all the technology we have today, most times there is no need to  even clip those coupons or even read that circular( that they still continue to throw on our welcome mat or in the general vicinity).There are a plethora of apps such as:Ibotta,RetailMeNot,Flipp,Retale, and Ebates just to name a few, but the list is quite extensive.

Coupons without the paper, just your trusty smartphone. Seniors take full advantage of any discounts(show your id if you have to), if you hold a professional license (show your i.d. as well) for a savings, our ever so humble veterans as well ,show your id and with great pride. We work way too hard for the money to just spend it frivolously, learn how to spend it wisely.Your pockets and pocketbooks will thank me later for this advice, and you got it for the best price ever ……FREE!

Spring Cleaning

“Letting go of some things from our past, allows us to grasp onto new things in our future”. –A Mrs Dee quote

Happy Spring my good and lovely people!

As the new season is now upon us, we may find ourselves getting ready to rid our closets and garages of those old things we don’t use anymore,  therefore cutting down on some of the clutter that is caused by those items we just can’t seem to part ways with, even though we haven’t used them in months or years(go figure…lol)

When we are taking this time to make life decisions about that broken chair that is worth saving if we could just find the leg, and about that designer coat that is probably about to resurface in the fashion world again if we just hold onto it a few more years.Spring cleaning is not just about things. It just may be time to get rid of some emotional clutter as well, and while we are on a cleaning frenzy, maybe even some people may need to be packed up and sold to the highest bidder.But if it eases the blow a little know that just because you have no need or purpose for these “items” in your life, they may be able to do someone else a world of good.

Make a donation, clean up, and clean out today so you can spring forward.


The Enemy Within:Self Sabotage

It can be amazing how the mind works.Beliefs that you hold in your subconscious mind can hinder you from success and happiness.The mind is a vey powerful tool.

Negativity from others can be expected sometimes, but when the majority of the negativity comes from yourself, it can be even more detrimental .We take the wind from beneath our own wings before we even have a chance to fly .Hopes and dreams never even get a chance to make it off the ground.

Behavior is considered self sabotaging when it creates problems within one’s self and therefore interferes with long standing goals.Prime examples of this mindset is our ever so infamous procrastination(i don’t have to do it RIGHT now,i’ll do it later approach),self medicating(abuse of drugs or alcohol–I need something to destress myself and create a diverson from the issue approach),comfort eating or  under eating , and even self injury as well.These behaviors linger in some of our lives because there is a lack of self confidence and self esteem. They all correlate with one another,because that is just how the mind operates.

But like with and any other hard times that we may go through in life (even if we are the main ones  putting ourselves though the ringer the most)this too shall pass and it can be overcome.You have to out smart the sabotaging behavior by changing your mindset.Changing your mindset and believing in it as well.Think positive and do positive.Nope, no long drawn out methods to the madness, it is just that simple.It can be as simple as postive affirmations during the course of the day, to creating the best love affair ever ………..with yourself. When you feel good about yourself it boosts your self esteem and you think more positive, and when we love ourselves(truly and deeply) we don’t even think twice about if what we are doing is wrong or right:we just do it……which is the opposite of procrastination.

Be willing to think more positive , and you will be able to get past the mental roadblock, that YOU were putting up. You will be able to get around it , and get to your happy place.

Music Therapy

Music is known to calm the savage beast, and the most savage of them all is mankind

“Some people have lives:some people have music” Author John Green

Music is the soundtrack to our lives.What we listen to can depend on how we are feeling, a moment that we are encountering, or just trying to evoke a memory. Music is an every growing and booming industry, a good portion of the success has moved away from people purchasing that vinyl 33 record, and is credited to the digital music streaming.All the music you want ,all genres, conveniently with all the portability you need.

Our selection of high energy fast paced tunes is just the mood modifier we may need when we are pushing through that gym workout, caught up in the music, we tend to feel less pain and fatigue.That sultry live jazz music playing , with the low lighting, can create a certain ambiance while you are dining and put you in a more intimate mood.

On a more therapeutic note, music can help aid with breakthroughs with people that have mental and developmental issues, and the elderly alzheimer patient.It can enhance higher brain function such as memory, concentration and attention.

So, that silly jingle from that darn commercial lingers in your head all day just because the advertisers paired it with right catchy melody.